RAVING AND RANTING WALLET

a confession on a wallet
The brand is the only pride I have. Lous Vitton that I am. The rest, you might say, is a tragedy that unfolds every other day. Of course I am handy, portability is my forte.
I was bought from a departmental store in India. Since then, as fate would have it, I have mostly been carrying Bhutanese Ngultrum, though the Indian rupee makes its round from time to time.
I am proud when I go around with my tummy bulging out. My master is a reporter and every day I get the singular opportunity to meet different people. I have known a lot of people and I am also the sole witness to a lot of conversations. At times I also disagree on issues but keeping it to myself is all I can do.
The first week of every month sees me stuffed with new and old notes but by the second week I would have thinned out. When my master receives his salary I have difficulty getting the breathing space but when he is broke I lay thrown on the bed or under a pillow and the little stored is also snatched away from me. That is when I pray for the next month to begin.
At times I have to go hungry for a month and that is when I am embarrassed the most. Making out from the frown on my master’s face these are the times when the atmosphere gets a bit stressful.
I would be flung across the room, into the closet or on the bed. I would be there for a long time until my master would come back and make a search, desparately for cash.
I have a lot of friends. Besides my usual companions – two credit cards, a citizenship identity card, a dozen of visiting cards and an ATM.
I am made of leather. I am foldable and this is one of the reasons why my kind does not wear out fast. When I am old I am immediately replaced.
One of my confessions is that I have never taken a bath.
Humans believe that ‘You should not wash wallets lest money will keep flowing out.”
To keep up with their myth, I have never been washed. Humans would rather throw my kind than wash us.’
Though I was never used in the past, modern day human feel incomplete without me. I am here to store cash.
Today is September 10 and I have just been loaded. I am comfortable for the moment but I fear this month I would have to go hungry for a longer time as my master has just paid his yearly vehicle registration renewal fees along with a penalty for late payment.

it’s not all about sex and size, viagra speaks

Certainly, size doesn’t matter as long as it is of some purpose. Mark my words. Small can do wonders sometimes. It is as if the strength lies in it size.

If you are thinking kinky stuff or otherwise, this is not one about that. I am a living example of how good and all power small can be.

Though I am just about the size of any usual tablet, I have the ability to solve two of the most personal and serious problems of mankind – heart and sex related that is.

Scientifically called sildenafil citrate and popularly known as Viagra, I was first developed more than a decade ago by scientists who were testing a drug for its ability to lower blood pressure and coincidentally came out with a remedy for erectile dysfunction or lack of erection during sexual performance. Eureka!

Interestingly people on whom the first the blue pill were tested for blood pressure didn’t want to give it back. Of course you know why! 

Since then millions of people around the world have used me, the magic pill – the reinvigorator of lifeles passion.

I have been proven effective on both men and women to cure heart problems while as nature wants it, men alone can use me to solve erectile dysfunction. 

Heart patients use me to relax parts of the heart to allow normal flow of blood to and from the heart and during erectile dysfunction, I am used to develop the ability to maintain prolonged erection in sexual performance.

I come in blue, pink and red colors though I feel more colors would be a welcome to meet the tastes of different people. But again on a second thought I drop the idea as I am a drug that must be used when required and should be avoided when not.

I have been popular since inception but authorities have been cautious of my use. A special prescription from the doctor is required to use me. I cost about Nu 22 a tablet, and come in a box of four tablets bringing the cost to Nu 85 a packet.

Some say I am very expensive and I totally agree but I would also like to believe that the advantage that I bring along is worthwhile.

My kind has been around for over a decade saving lives and families and vow to continue doing so. I have been adorably called big fun by men whose sex drives I have solved.

Sitting on the shelf of a pharmacy I have spotted men who are tempted to buy me but are too embarrassed to ask. Well! I would like to say that I belong to the directives of the doctor and I just cannot be bought for money. Strictly prescribed!

PS - i was told that after my article came out in the paper (Aug 27), there were people coming to the pharmacy to purchase Viagra.. How crazy is that!!! i said "Strictly prescribed" yet some people don't get it!