A very Happy Valentine :)

Today is Valentine's Day and it is no different from other normal days. How i wish i could turn back the time... the time when i was excited about the whole Valentine thing.
I remember when i was in BKK, there were guys would wait for their love with a bouquet. Same case in India too though it was not as grand as it was in BKK. But i have never really seen anything happening in Bhutan.
Though i had never received a bouquet or been proposed on this day, i do have some unmemorable memory of my past.
However, when i received a call at 12 midnight from my Love, that was all i could ask for. Truly speaking, i wasn't expecting it. It skipped my mind that it was The Valentine's Day!!!! we have been in a relation for nearly five years now and it is said that everything looses its charm after a  while. I kind of believed it myself.
But his call was all that was needed to change my feeling.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S  DAY :) keep smiling

asking for an outrageous benefit

When I was in Bangalore doing my degree, I heard people saying that it’s all well that goes under the table. Indirectly, they meant bribing. I had seen friends give money to make their papers and have also seen my other friends giving money to the police to take out their friends out of the jail.

Though the first hand experience I got wasn’t as great as those mentioned above, I was ashamed when this ‘uncle’ was out front asking for a benefit.

May be we are brought up in such a society where these things rarely happen. I mean there is no money bribing; however we cannot rule out ‘Changjay.’

Anyway, as I was I saying, he was out front asking for bribe. I was supposed to interview his nephew. Yet it was the uncle who replied my emails and who asked for the benefit.

I had already sent eight questions and was waiting for the reply, but my questions were answered with questions from his side asking what benefits he would get if he answered my questions.

Assuming (my editors told me never to assume because it means you are making an ASS of yourself) that his question was innocent; I replied that he would be getting publicity. Yet my answers were answered with a statement. “But you still did not answer what benefit I would get,” states his email.

This ‘Uncle’ came in the office, sat opposite to me asked me again ‘what benefit will my nephew get if he answers your question.’ At that time, I wasn’t sure what he was saying so I asked, ‘what kind of benefits are you talking about?’

 ‘Money or anything,’ he said.

Right then, Sir Aby walked in after having his lunch. His entrance was perfect. I had no idea how to handle this guy and when I told Sir Aby about the benefits he wanted, Aby sir told him on his face that Business Bhutan don’t bribe to get information and refused to do the interview.

The ‘Uncle’ threatened to take it to other papers and we gladly led him out of the office.

And then the door went ‘bang’ behind him.

a 'HAPPY' new year..

2011 came so fast. Like last year, my new year this year was much more happier and fulfilling. Like many others, I had a resolution and like many, I broke it. "resolutions are meant to be broken" and yes! i broke my resolution again. Though i don't enjoy the taste any more, i still want more and when i think i am going to quit, the taste is so strong, i don't feel like quitting. 'SMOKING is injurious to health, but i can't quit it, i guess that is what you call an ADDICTION.
Losar today was much a happy losar for me. No sick relatives or sick me like last year. Recalling the new year last year, I remember celebrating it on my bed. The bed that had become my friend and my work place. A very clear memory of the day - a puja being performed at the backdrop, mummy busy with the lunch, my sisters busy with their own work and my youngest brother as always irritating me. I was bedridden then, my whole body had swelled twice its normal size, my face swollen too and though i was hungry, my appetite just died at the sight of food.
On the other hand, my cousin sister was in the other room, shouting in pain.
Thank God! this new year however was a very happy one. My parents are happy and i am happy for them :)
Hope this year continues to be a happy and peaceful year for me and my family :):):):)
Losar Tashi Delek!!!

puffing away to glory

I have heard people taking oath to quit something but never heard of people taking oath to do something. I have never seen anyone taking oath but I have experienced firsthand – an oath taking ceremony.

I was forced to take an oath, an oath to quit smoking and drinking. I didn’t really know the significance of taking an oath… I still don’t. Yet I had to take the oath (sounds like I was forced. Those who witnessed might not have seen it as a forceful however; I was mentally and literally forced to take it.)

An oath taking ceremony was organized by the Young Buddhist Association. Not many youths came to the oath taking ceremony. It was mostly the elderly people. However all said and done, the ceremony went well.

A very observation though. I saw a father with his sons. He had four with him. What was amazing was that he was introducing them to Garab Rinpochhe and was actually forcing them to take the oath. Very young to argue with their dad, they quietly and very obediently took their oath.  

What I don’t understand is that why are they being forced to take the oath? There is a popular Bhutanese believe that if you break the oath, you will bleed and puke blood to death. If that is true, then does he want his sons to bleed to death, more so, want me to puke blood and die as I was also forced to take the oath?

I remember telling my mother that I don’t want to take the oath and there my mom goes, always being THE mom… “Don’t try to act so smart, be in the line,” she ordered and I embarrassed as many heard her order, stood in the line to take the oath.

As drew near Rinpochhe, I was scared and thought if i will be able to keep the promise not to smoke, drink and do drugs. Rinpochhe asked “which one do you want to quit?” I said “alcohol.” I was given the holy water but after a minute, he asked “do you smoke?” I was so scared, I said “No.” and then he said, the oath is for drinking and smoking then.

I was in shock. I didn’t know what to do. Wanted to throw the holy water but my mother was just behind me.  

A trick I did not realizing if it would work or not. I said to myself, “oath to stop alcohol for a month and oath to smoke smoking for an hour,” and I sipped the holy water.

Funny! An hour later, there I was again with a cigarette in between my fingers, puffing away to glory. 


After thinking real hard, i have finally decided to quit it... willingly... after new years...

few pigs live in peace

For the past 24 years, every time I visited my village for the annual puja, it’s a bad smell that attacks the nostrils to let you know you have reached home.
It’s the smelly pigs and its sty, and the “oink oink” cry.
The annual puja was a regular thing and so was slaughtering. The pigs were raised like children from birth, fed well, only to be slaughtered for the annual puja.
During the regular puja gathering last year, I remember my family gathered on the front porch. We were catching up on the years we haven’t been home.
Suddenly I saw my grandmother covering her ears and chanting prayers. Then I realized what was happening.
Just below our porch, the pig was being slaughtered.
“Grunt, grunt,” the pig cried in pain.
The excitement in my brother’s voice was heard simultaneously.
“Grunt grunt,” went the pig again and finally it fell silent.
The flesh was cut, the waste and uncookable parts were thrown, a bowl was filled with the pig’s intestine (juma). Half the flesh was hung to make shikam.
But now, a religious order not to slaughter pigs for pujas is a welcome move.
A year back, my grandmother, the head of the house, said there would be no killings and we stopped it, however, it didn’t stop the butchers from killing them as we bought the pork for the puja from the shop.
The pig sty in my ancestral house has been empty for the past one year, neither cleaned nor destroyed.
The competition in villages for giving the best meat dish would also decrease with the ban.
 “With the ban, the animals would be excused and the competition in the villages would also be minimal,” said Ap Gyeltshen, a farmer from Punakha. However, another farmer added that bringing in more varieties of vegetable curries would be a challenge.
Bhutanese are not very good in preparing a variety of vegetable dishes. But with the slaughter ban, it would be interesting to see how delicious our puja dishes can become.

when sex victimizes men

It is always disturbing to read boys being convicted for rape when it is a case of consensual sex. Recently two boys (both 19 years old) were charged for consensual sex with a 17-year-old girl.

According to the law of the land she is a minor, but by nature’s law she is old enough to make decisions and her body is ready for motherhood.

But in the recent case, only the boys were punished for a decision that also involved the consensus of the girl.

The huge inflow of funds into gender programs have increased the number of mike-loving lipstick feminists who have fallen in love with the ‘victim’ word. Their main pastime is to raise the victimhood of women and brand boys as predators.

I totally agree with the law to punish the boys when the girl is under-age.  But I see no reason why it is only the boys who are punished while the girl is free.

Sex is a natural desire, but ‘jail’ is not a natural place to stay.  The humiliation the girl has suffered with the case is also shared by the boys when they are jailed for the most productive time of their life.

In most cases, especially in the rural Bhutan, people do not know of any law about consensual sex.

My question is not about the boys being convicted, but is about having a law whereby a girl found guilty of consensual sex is also convicted, if the law is so adamant about jailing people for making love.  I guess then the law would be equal and justified.

We always talk about discrimination in gender and that there should be no gender discrimination, but there is gender discrimination when it comes to consensual sex.

According to The Sydney Morning Herald, a 14 year-old Brazilian girl was jailed for ‘consensual sex’ with a 25-year-old Pakistani school bus driver.  The girl was sentenced to six months while the man was sentenced to a year in prison.

Why can’t Bhutan also have a law where the girl is also punished for having consensual sex?

There are early marriages happening in the rural areas. Girls are getting married at the age of 16 and some girls are mothers when they are 17. Do you still think the girls should not be punished?

An aunt of mine who has two sons feels that the law is unfair too. She said “when the girl is agreeing on having sex, I don’t see a point in just punishing the boys.” The girl needs to be equally punished, she said.

Perhaps a law to punish girls may bring down cases of premarital sex and unwanted pregnancies.

PAIN is the only thing that is telling me, I AM STILL ALIVE…

A person with a mole on the stomach is said to be lazy… I disagree… I have a mole on my stomach too… and I was NOT lazy until I heard about my problem. A five minute walk tires me, carrying dinner plates back to the kitchen tires me, talking tires me, taking stress hurts my chest… blah blah blah… the list goes on… yet I could not find a cure to my HEART pain.

When I say I have a heart problem, everyone relates it to love crisis. Sometimes I wish it was some sort of love crisis for there is a cure to that, but HEART PROBLEM… how am I going to live with this problem my whole life.

The pain of pin and needles pinching my whole body, the pain of not being able to take in breaths and the pain of the joints in the body is all the pain I can take for now… have been taking in for the past one year… I fear of the thoughts of pains I might have to endure in the future… the pains that might make me want to give up on life…

However, nothing I could do to reduce it. Pretending it to be a chocolate, medicines on time has become my daily life and weighing myself has now become a compulsion for me… a little increase in my weight would bother me for doctors say “weight is not good for heart.”

Talking about weighing myself, I still see the images of me swelling like a balloon. Today I am I 45kgs and the very next day, I am 59 kg. I couldn’t sleep, walk nor could I sit. “Are you pregnant?” asked few people I know. … Doctors say my swelling is due to the pressure my heart is unable handle. And because of that pumping becomes difficult which results to the accumulation of water in the body. My body’s incapability of relieving it thus results in swelling. My weight would increase from 45 kg to 59 kg over a night and taking ‘Dytor’- a medicine prescribed by doctors- my weight however, would come down to 45kg… AGAIN……

How long now!!!!                                                                                                              

How many sweet more years to LIVE… till….