WAS IT MY LAST?

The last thing I want to do is blurt out personal feelings on the blog, but somehow I find myself opening up the Microsoft word and typing down these words….

Come 2016, I thought everything would fall into place and that it would be better than 2015! But I was wrong.

 January was such a terrible month. I had to keep going to hospital for one reason or another. Started with a minor flu for a week, then ended up having a minor surgery to remove a cyst behind my right ear which needed stitches, then an emergency doctor tells me that the severe pain on my foot must be because of gout! Seriously! As if I don’t have enough health issues already!!!!!

And then! I FAINT!

Since I got sick, I might have fainted about five times now, and every time I faint, in that 10 to 20 seconds of the blackout moment, I can see my whole world.

The most recent one scared me so much. Some think I should get used to by now, but do tell, DOES ANY ONE GET USED TO SOMETHING LIKE THIS?

I don’t really know how to explain the pain, I could feel every single nerve in my body being stretched and the whole nerves cramping and merging towards my heart.

“Please don’t faint,” I murmured to myself as I sat down on the doorstep of my room and the next thing I wake up to was my head throbbing with pain for putting the dead weight on the doorstep.

In that blackout moment, I remembering seeing my daughter and singing her favorite lullaby ‘rock a bye baby.’

The last wish always comes true, I was told once. And as the whole world flashed before my eyes, the only prayer or wish I left for my daughter was for her to have a happy, healthy life and for her to NEVER FORGET ME!

REST IN PEACE dear sister...

Will this day (July 23, 2014) ever be the same for my family? The sky is covered with grey dark clouds and the tap on the window from the rain pouring outside, my family is also going through the pain of losing a loved one....Today, we LOST a sister.

Nothing will ever remain the same.

Just 26 years old, and she has already seen the worst of pains.. four years of having suffered the unthinkable pains, she finally breathe her last breath yesterday at 7 am in the morning. 

She is finally free of her pain, and her sufferings. She deserves another chance, another life to relive those moments she missed out in this life.

The special memories of you will always bring smiles on our faces. You are missed and you will remain in our hearts for ever. 

My little cousin sister, Yangchey aka Mindu Zam, i hope you will find your way back into our lives again.. you were a great mother, a great wife and the most loving daughter. 

REST IN PEACE LITTLE SISTER....

being positive despite everything....

Dear Blog, since i have started blogging, you have been a good friend listening to me, pouring out my frustration, sharing my feelings, writing all the crap that is going on in my life. It is quite sometime since i have written anything. 
I have not forgotten you my dear friend. It's just that i haven't felt the need to blog for a while. 
I am back again! back again with my frustration, if that is what you will call. 
Since my sickness, i have written things that were a little hard to say out loud and here i m again, writing about my sickness. 
Its five years now.. five years since i first got the shocking news of my life... the first time i 'fainted' in my life... the first time i really saw the worry on my parent's face. 
So much has changed since then. 
I have always written about being positive and being very strong despite my illness, don't be mistaken, i am still very positive and strong, but SOMETIMES.... i lose it!
When i look down on my chest, i can see my left side of the chest beat so fast. Even when i m relaxed, my heart goes into the galloping rhythm, it freaks me. 
It is so hard for me to do anything normal. 
Changing my sheets are a difficult chore for me. 
Five years.... and still in the same situation. Many doctors told me that it is good to be in the same condition. Their exact words were "you should know that you are not gonna get any better. You should be happy that you are in the same condition for the past five years and that you are not getting worse." 
I sometimes wonder if it is a blessing that i am in the same condition as before or if i m cursed for not getting better!!!
Oh! five years of my illness has taught me to be very careful. I have an oxrimeter which was a gift from a doctor friend. An oximeter helps me monitor my oxygen level. If my oxygen level when i am walking or doing anything heavy goes below 90, i am to be admitted. Luckily for me, it has never gone down below 90 (fingers crossed). But it is difficult to say the same about my pulse rate... Oh! one time, i just climbed about 13 stairs and my pulse went up to over 150. 
I have also fainted so many things, i have lots track of it. But each time i fainted, I had no recollection of that few minutes i was blacked-out! Scary thought, but i have learned to live with it. 
After almost a year, i m writing this blog because every time i see my heart beat so fast, every time i faint, It feels like it is gonna be the last of it. Last of my pain... last of this illness... last of my life!!
BUT I AM STILL VERY POSITIVE.. POSITIVE OF ME NOT GETTING WELL BUT OF LIVING MY LIFE TO THE FULLEST.. OF BEING STRONG FOR MY PARENTS.. OF OVERCOMING MY ILLNESS ONE DAY... and.......of being satisfied with my life... 

stronger.. or weaker!!!!

"You have to be strong for you and your family," - the words that have been repeated to me a thousand times and now these words have painted a false me in front of others...

I am suppose to be strong... I would hate to admit otherwise... but what if i am WEAK!!! what if i am not able to deal with things that are going to come along... AM I REALLY READY TO FACE IT????

The question linger with me every second.. and now i wonder... I look strong.. i speak strong.. i walk strong... i think strong... but am i?

I hate to even think that i am not strong.. cuz if you are not strong.. you are weak... fragile.. easy to break... I hate to be that...

But all i want to do is be myself... doesn't matter whether i m strong or weak... i am ME...

Vilshofen Memoir

Where do I even begin? I have so many fond memories of my stay in Germany that words cannot even begin to express how I fell.

Frankly I wasn’t prepared to go to Germany but who would have let the opportunity to go to Europe just slip away. I took it but I wasn’t sure what to expect.

But the month long stay in Vilshofen was one that holds a special place in my heart.

Above all the good experiences and meeting new people, I met two wonderful host families. They were the BEST.

Alois and Christiane

I met Christiane and Alois at the dinner party Helmuth Rucker had the week i was there in Vilshofen. I met many other friends there but the couple were the ones who had my attention.

They are like my second parent. They cared for me so much that Germany felt more like home than just a visiting place.

They are both in their late 50’s. Yet with me, they felt more than friends. Chrsitiane was very caring. Being a pharmacist, she took care of my health and made sure i had a lot of greens to eat. 

On the other hand, Alois was more like a father, who would spend time talking to me. I still remember the way he use to greet me in the morning and bid good night at night. I miss them so so much. 

Christiane has two sons but does not have a daughter so the shopping we went was her first time with a girl. We shopped so so much and she gifted me a nice dress and a fur coat to keep me warm. 

I miss them dearly. 

Helmuth and Carmen

They were my first host and the first people i met and talked to when i landed in Germany. Carmen and i became friends really fast. Their sons, Elias and Till, were so adorable and so welcoming. I became very close to Till, their youngest son and i loved him more like my younger brother. 

My first week passed getting to know them but as time went on, they began to hold very special place in my heart. 

They took me around and we took many pictures. 

I miss you all so much.

Though there are tones i wanna share, many things could  not be put in the worlds.. yet they remain in my heart to be cherish every day. 

Love you all and i hope one day that i will be able to visit Germany again and be with you all again... 

Welcoming the newest member of our family!!!

Hearing about a new member joining our large family, we were more than happy... with everyone growing so fast, our little Tobjur who was the youngest is now an older brother…

We would feel the kick of the baby… and when she finally came, the day was filled with so much joy..

Congratulations my little cousin sister.. May you find parenthood a breeze and be able to look back with fond memories.

It was such wonderful news.

Normally I would wait for a week to see the baby.. but when she was born, I couldn't wait.

Wanting to see her first bath, I rushed… I picked her up and I held her tight.

Small baby are my weakness.. I could spoil them forever…

It is now a month and four days since my little youngest niece was born… I cant wait to hold her again and pamper her… and of course spoil her.. 

May you bring so much happiness and good health to your parents

Unmemorable Emergency Exit!

Ever sat next to an Emergency Exit! I did and it freaked me out!!!!
It was during my flight to Chennai. Me and my mom somehow got the seat next to the Emergency exit. I was already so scared when an air hostess comes by and starts explaining what needs to be done during an EMERGENCY!! Seriously!!!!

I read the emergency kit hoping that nothing happens but after just an hour in the air, the plane starts to shake. My mom was chanting her prayers. I held on the to seat for my dear life when suddenly the plane drops few inches below. I just let out a scream.

It was a scary experience. Though i would very much like to be near an exit during any emergency, i definitely want to skip seating next to an emergency exit in a plane ....

Read it well and understand it so that when an emergency occurs, you dont have to be looking for the kit :)

AM I NOT A GOOD DAUGHTER?

I never asked myself this question but now! i think its time i do.

AM I NOT A GOOD DAUGHTER?

I have always tried to be a good daughter to my parents. I am trying my best to financially support them, emotionally be there for them and like any other good daughter, i am always there when they need me.

But recently, things seems to have changed. My parents are the ones who are there for me emotionally and trying to make me feel better and be positive of my life.

Yet, i m stressing them too much. I am putting too much of my tension on them and they have been worried hell for me.

My mother has lost weight because she stresses too much. she stresses because of me. I am the main cause for my mother worrying too much.

On the other hand, my father ain't too good himself. He has not looked so old or tired. He is almost 63 years but he does not look old because of his age, but the worry of my future worries him a lot. The lines on his forehead and the corner of his eyes say it all.

I am not well. My heart is weak and so are my lungs making me harder to breath and do any kind of work. I feel guilty and i try to do what i can but it's just not even a quarter of what others do. Primary Pulmonary Hypertension is a rare disease with no cure but i pray in my heart that a miracle will happen. A MIRACLE that will relief my parents from the stress and burden and a MIRACLE that will help me be a good daughter i always wanted to be.....

I LOVE U and I M SO SORRY :(

Mills & Boons fantasy

If novels can decide the fate, many girls would have found their perfect man without having to look so hard. Like me, there are many girls who read Mills and Boons. These novels may not be great literature but have fairy tale sweetness and happy endings, most girls usually dream about.

Who does wish for Happy Endings? Everyone wants to smile when you have completed a novel or a movie. A happy ending leaves you wearing a broad smile despite knowing that it is not real. On many occasions, I have slept a good night’s sleep after having completed a Mills and Boons novel.
My teacher once told me that it does not matter what you read, but you should read. That was when I started reading these novels.

These Mills and Boons novels have perfect protagonists. Many a time, the guy is rich and ruthless yet unresistiblly attractive while on the other hand, the girl is poor but has the perfect body that captures the rich guy’s attention.

Despite all the ups and down, the rich guy falls in love with the poor girl and they live a happily ever after.
How often does this ending happen in real life? I believe only about one percent of the people in love actually truly experience such bliss. Rest compromise!

When we meet someone, we feel that he or she is the right person for you, however for some unlucky ones, it is not the case. Some girls meet the worst ever nightmares and some guys end up with their worst better half.

It is either the guy ends up with a dominating and a very controlling wife or the girl ends up with a husband who hits her or abuses her.

“Reality does not always happen the way it is written in novels. These are fiction. Something that is imagined,” my close friend once told me when I told her that the Mills and Boons novels are good.
Yet these novels give HOPE of having a happy ending, a hope of finding the perfect soul mate.

I have more than 100 Mills and Boons on my shelf. I read a novel and after a year or so, I re-read it because every time I read I get what the author is trying to say through the dialogues and the character.
Spending every penny on Mills and Boons novel is worth it for me as it brings a smile on my face at THE END.

Some guys however read these novels for the sex part. The novel describes sex scenes explicitly that a colleague of mine once told me that when he was young, he masturbated reading these novels.

Well, that’s altogether another story! No one but he would best tell it.

one can’t choose but wait

I lost my sister about ten year ago. I was young then. I didn’t really know what losing someone really meant. Instead, I was proud that I didn’t shed a tear when I heard the news or when she was cremated without my knowledge.
She was 23 when she died of blood cancer. Back then, I didn’t know what blood cancer was but I knew it was a painful disease that gradually kills.
A year passed after she was diagnosed of cancer. She was admitted at the Thimphu Hospital. She lay bed-ridden for months. Later she was referred to Vellore in India for treatment. Even after desperate attempts by doctors, they failed to get hold of a matching bone marrow.
She had never been the same after that. She loved to drink bottled Miranda juice, and despite her pain, she always had something funny to say.
A bunch of her front hair was grey. It was unique. High fever consumed her, her body too fragile to even sit upright and her face was dark because of the continuous blood transfusion she had to undergo.
Whenever I hear of a cancer patient, her poor fragile body and the pain comes back as if it just happened yesterday.
Recently, a friend of mine said she would not mind dying of cancer. She reasoned that if she knew she had cancer she would have the time to do good things, like praying and earning spiritual merits.
Does it work that way? What happens to those who die a sudden death? Do they not go to heaven? Everything has its own time. Some people are very religious at a very young age while some wait till they are a little older or old enough to start praying.
I don’t really subscribe to her ideas but perhaps this is why many people prefer dying while asleep.

Birthday memoirs

Last night I was going through a box filled with my childhood stuffs. I fished out all the birthday cards I had received over the years. I stood there thinking.

I tried to remember a few friends who had, in the tussle of life, faded away from our memories and the birthday celebrations that have faded with them.
I thought about the cordial wishes on birthday cards that have been replaced by tailored wishes on Facebook. I realized how the count on wishes from your friend list on Facebook mattered and the last time I received a card for my birthday.

I remembered the times when I woke up in the morning and found presents on my pillow or underneath it. The excitement and suspense to open the presents made me wait for another year to celebrate another birthday.

I missed the birthdays when we took chocolates to school for the whole class. It was like a custom. I don’t remember when it started but my twin-sister and I ensured that we had chocolates for the whole school.  For me, or rather my parents, celebrating a twin birthday was never easy. Everything needed to be in pairs- a pair of gifts, a pair of cake, a pair of everything.

Back then the issue was that it was my birthday and everything had to be special but now I look back and sub-consciously wondered if I should have been there to share the cost.
Normally we don’t realize that parents too have birthdays and that wishing them on their birthdays brings them the greatest joy. I quickly recalled the birthdays of my parents and ensured that I am the first one to wish them on their birthdays from now on.

When you are young, birthdays come with gifts.  As you grow older, birthday treats mean booze, partying and a lot more booze.

As you grow old celebrating birthdays become childish yet you await birthday wishes and presents year after year.  After all it was the day you were born.

i miss u my love

It’s been just 4 months we have been married and here I am in this unknown country away from you. I have known you for the past five years yet it feels like I have just met you yesterday. There is still so much I don’t know about you which makes our relation even more special because it is ‘discovery time.’

Many people I know have asked me if I had enough of my relation. My response was simple and quick ‘No, I still have so much to learn about my love.’

I still don’t really how we actually got tangled in the marriage thingy but come to look at it; I think it was for the BEST. We had decided not to get married for another 5 years or so, but look at us now; we are married and tied to each other for ever.

‘If you are given a time machine, would you go over your wedding all over again?’ I was asked a couple of times. Well, NO! I think once was enough. But I would definitely like to go back to the time when we were kids. My husband and I had been in the same school for two years but I do not remember a single time we spoke to each other. I would definitely want to change that.

When I saw you after 9 years in Bangalore, I was surprised for you looked different. Well we didn’t speak then too but as we met often at our friend’s place, we began to know each other better and by the time we realized, we had become best buddies.

From best buddies, we took our relation to another level. On August 8 however, you decided to propose me and there I was, happily accepting it. I knew then that you are the one i want to spend the rest of my life with.

However, I hadn’t expected us to be married after five years, so soon eh, but here we are, on the eve of our fifth anniversary, we were pronounced man and wife.

Today is our fourth month anniversary and I miss you a lot. I know we had made plans to go out for a holiday but that will have to wait for some weeks. I will be home in 3 weeks love. I miss you. Happy Anniversary. LOVE u

'SERVUS' Germany!

Not even in the wildest of my imaginations had I ever dreamt that one day I would be in Germany. And when I finally did, after seven excruciating hours of flight, I knew this was too real to be true. After several days now, the feeling is finally settling down.

Winter is here in Europe, and is far too cold than I was prepared for. Despite the biting cold and thick fog that covers the landscape most of the time, Germany is a beautiful place. I am in Vilshofen in Passau, the city of three rivers where Donau river is joined at Passau by the Inn river from the south and the Ilz river from the north to go to the Black Sea.

This was my median excursion into Europe and besides the little Google research I had done, I barely knew of this vast country.
Not until I reached Munich when a young gentleman helped me with my bag at the train station. I was told that Germans could be an unfriendly lot but to my utter surprise, they were in fact the very opposite. They were nice, helpful and kind.
 ‘Servus,’ and ‘gruss gott’ are greetings that I have been hearing since I landed here. It is either a welcoming or departing greeting in German. Another word is ‘Danke’ which means thank you.
Believe it or not, I have never been to a church. And here I visited the St. Stephan’s Cathedral or Dom St. Stephan, the largest church organ in the world. The Cathedral organ represents one of the main tourists’ attractions.

With a population of about 50,000 living in Passau and about 17,000 in Vilshofen, markets get a little crowded during the weekends. My arrival here coincided with the preparations for Christmas. It was a flurry of activities.

Trees were being trimmed and lit with colourful lights, houses being decorated, children going through the advertisement books to check out gifts they want their parents to buy for them and parents checking their check list of what needs to be done or ticking those that have already been completed.

Children wait for the first Sunday of the last week of November to light the first candle to signify the countdown of the Christmas. I was given an unexpected honor to light the first candle at my host’s home too.

As you walk along the Passau city, you reach the city hall where the markings of the water level and in which year have been marked. It is incredible to see how high the markings go. It was just so great.

Having been in Germany for only one week, I am certain that I do not like Pretzel, known as ‘Brezel’ in German. When I told Carmen Keller of not liking pretzel, she gave me a shocked look.

She said, “Everybody loves Pretzel,” and further added that there is no childhood if there was no pretzel.

But the Bavarian beer, I must admit, is a fine beer. If you ever come to Germany, you should definitely try the beer.

One tradition that caught my attention was the symbol that indicated that someone had a baby. A wooden stork is pitched at the junction towards the house. A line of cans/tins hung above the stork symbolises the birth of a girl and vice versa.

That’s it for now. But I still have 20 more days to explore.

From Himalaya I am…

I have been in Germany for the past 2 weeks and it is weird how people think about Bhutan. Oh! You are the girl from the Himalayas… and the funny thing is people think that people from the Himalayas are suppose to be in some kind of stone age… not that I am angry. Well they feel angry for having thought otherwise.

I have done the same too. Before I came to Germany, I thought people here were rude and mean. I thought I would not feel at home at their place, but I was wrong too. I cannot say the same of the other people in Berlin or Munich or other big cities in Germany, but I sure can say for the people here in Vilshofen. They are very different from what I thought they would be.

Well not many people here have heard about Bhutan and the few lot who have heard about Bhutan are so happy to meet an alien from an alien country… they have so many questions and I am glad I could answer their questions. But many also feel that Bhutan is too backward to be too civilised or be informed of the happenings around the world.  

I once sat down to watch a movie and I was asked if I have watched this movie or that movie. And my answer was ‘YES.’ And the response I got was, ‘you are supposed to be from Bhutan, from Himalayas.’ What is that suppose to mean now? I asked myself!

The other time, when I told them that there is no McDonalds and KFC in Bhutan, I was asked if we have Pizzas and if I have ever tried burger…

They are even surprised at how comfortable I am with my laptop or doing something with the computer…  I guess they were expecting some kind of an alien who knew nothing… I am glad I was able to change their perception about Bhutan and the Bhutanese people.

RAVING AND RANTING WALLET

a confession on a wallet
The brand is the only pride I have. Lous Vitton that I am. The rest, you might say, is a tragedy that unfolds every other day. Of course I am handy, portability is my forte.
I was bought from a departmental store in India. Since then, as fate would have it, I have mostly been carrying Bhutanese Ngultrum, though the Indian rupee makes its round from time to time.
I am proud when I go around with my tummy bulging out. My master is a reporter and every day I get the singular opportunity to meet different people. I have known a lot of people and I am also the sole witness to a lot of conversations. At times I also disagree on issues but keeping it to myself is all I can do.
The first week of every month sees me stuffed with new and old notes but by the second week I would have thinned out. When my master receives his salary I have difficulty getting the breathing space but when he is broke I lay thrown on the bed or under a pillow and the little stored is also snatched away from me. That is when I pray for the next month to begin.
At times I have to go hungry for a month and that is when I am embarrassed the most. Making out from the frown on my master’s face these are the times when the atmosphere gets a bit stressful.
I would be flung across the room, into the closet or on the bed. I would be there for a long time until my master would come back and make a search, desparately for cash.
I have a lot of friends. Besides my usual companions – two credit cards, a citizenship identity card, a dozen of visiting cards and an ATM.
I am made of leather. I am foldable and this is one of the reasons why my kind does not wear out fast. When I am old I am immediately replaced.
One of my confessions is that I have never taken a bath.
Humans believe that ‘You should not wash wallets lest money will keep flowing out.”
To keep up with their myth, I have never been washed. Humans would rather throw my kind than wash us.’
Though I was never used in the past, modern day human feel incomplete without me. I am here to store cash.
Today is September 10 and I have just been loaded. I am comfortable for the moment but I fear this month I would have to go hungry for a longer time as my master has just paid his yearly vehicle registration renewal fees along with a penalty for late payment.

it’s not all about sex and size, viagra speaks

Certainly, size doesn’t matter as long as it is of some purpose. Mark my words. Small can do wonders sometimes. It is as if the strength lies in it size.

If you are thinking kinky stuff or otherwise, this is not one about that. I am a living example of how good and all power small can be.

Though I am just about the size of any usual tablet, I have the ability to solve two of the most personal and serious problems of mankind – heart and sex related that is.

Scientifically called sildenafil citrate and popularly known as Viagra, I was first developed more than a decade ago by scientists who were testing a drug for its ability to lower blood pressure and coincidentally came out with a remedy for erectile dysfunction or lack of erection during sexual performance. Eureka!

Interestingly people on whom the first the blue pill were tested for blood pressure didn’t want to give it back. Of course you know why! 

Since then millions of people around the world have used me, the magic pill – the reinvigorator of lifeles passion.

I have been proven effective on both men and women to cure heart problems while as nature wants it, men alone can use me to solve erectile dysfunction. 

Heart patients use me to relax parts of the heart to allow normal flow of blood to and from the heart and during erectile dysfunction, I am used to develop the ability to maintain prolonged erection in sexual performance.

I come in blue, pink and red colors though I feel more colors would be a welcome to meet the tastes of different people. But again on a second thought I drop the idea as I am a drug that must be used when required and should be avoided when not.

I have been popular since inception but authorities have been cautious of my use. A special prescription from the doctor is required to use me. I cost about Nu 22 a tablet, and come in a box of four tablets bringing the cost to Nu 85 a packet.

Some say I am very expensive and I totally agree but I would also like to believe that the advantage that I bring along is worthwhile.

My kind has been around for over a decade saving lives and families and vow to continue doing so. I have been adorably called big fun by men whose sex drives I have solved.

Sitting on the shelf of a pharmacy I have spotted men who are tempted to buy me but are too embarrassed to ask. Well! I would like to say that I belong to the directives of the doctor and I just cannot be bought for money. Strictly prescribed!

PS - i was told that after my article came out in the paper (Aug 27), there were people coming to the pharmacy to purchase Viagra.. How crazy is that!!! i said "Strictly prescribed" yet some people don't get it!

sangaygang gets nasty frank on sex and sin

CONFESSION

Tell you what, I have seen it all. All sorts of people in all sorts of cars for all sorts of occasions. I have been a bemused spectator, ogling into some of the weirdest activities human beings so ardently engage in. I am guilty of being a silent, unseen, voyeur. But can’t help it, either? The car-owning-generation just finds it too romantic out on a dark road.

Since time immemorial, I have stood here tall and majestic overlooking the capital city. I have witnessed Thimphu metamorphose from a small medieval hamlet into a bustling modern town. At night, it looks like a star studded sky right below me. I am glad the darkness has disappeared.

I have changed too, over time, in both good and bad ways. Long meandering roads run around me, the many curves that young and old seek out after dark. A broadcast tower was raised a long time ago. I serve a good purpose, too. The old and the fat walk the trails to burn the extra flab and to stay fit. How I pity them when I see them profusely sweating, tired and exhausted. They should have known better and before, unhealthy lifestyle poses lot of health hazards.
For many young couples, I have been the starting point of their journey of love. For others, I have been the perfect getaway – silent, secret, dark and away from the prying eyes. One night stand or more, here the darkest desires give vent.
It is quite amusing that I am treasured for the wrong reasons. Yet I am being violated for the very same wrong reasons. I would not mind if they had the courtesy to wrap the used condoms and throw it away in a dustbin or flush it down the sewer. They are too tired.  After all, the car is not designed for this purpose!
And then there are those late night revelers, who drink and scream and shout. And fight, at times. They disturb the serenity of the night. When they finally leave, there is a heap of garbage all scattered around. Civic sense has gone to the dogs, I dare you!
As I became popular, I have had several monikers to my credit. Lovers’ point is but only one decent name that I can write here. Others are a little too gross.
Days are much quieter. Sometimes tourists visit to enjoy the bird’s eye view I offer of the capital. During weekends, families come for picnics bringing along little children who enjoy the fresh air and play in the grass. Cyclists, a growing number of them I have observed, also come here. It feels good to see the contrast. Definitely I mean different things to two completely different types of people – the diurnals and the nocturnals.
Of late, however, the number of nocturnals has dramatically decreased. I was informed that they are keeping my cousin hill, southward, busy throughout the night. Looks like, people have found a better place! That’s altogether another story.
What is unsettling is that this new found peace is rather too quiet for me. I am so used to seeing people around day in and night out. I feel rejected. I bolster up – I will have to learn to cope. This is what I have always wanted. Inner peace! Inner peace! Inner …
Oh, here comes a visitor. A red car. Just two of them, ahuh!  First timers. Nervous. Oh boy! Here I go again. I think at times, these distractions are good for me.
By the way, for the record, I am Sangaygang, named after the enlightened one.

a small monk with a gun

Instead of prayer beads, a small monk near BOD, Thimphu takes out a toy gun and shoots at people walking by :)

our day has finally come..

What a good Sunday to have two families gather for an important discussion of our lives.. i say 'our' because it is just not me but my twin sister too. It was June 12, a day that is still so fresh in my mind. Though the day was very important for me, i was there sleeping the whole morning (till 12 noon) while my twin sister and my parents busy cleaning and preparing lunch for the important guests coming to our place. Oh! i did feel bad in the morning but then! i realized that even if i was up, i don't think i could have done anything to make their work easier - a illness as an excuse, some might say...

But i was excited as the clock ticked 1 pm.. Everytime i heard a vehicle pull over the parking lot but each time i was disappointed. But when a red Vitara pulled over, my heart started beating faster than the normal beat.. i was excited. 

Finally the wait was over.. an official gathering of the guy's and the girl's family. 

Dawa's grandfather -jojo,we call him - the head of the family, his aunty, his uncle but referred to as Brother and his twin brother Nima. 

I had always wanted to delay the meeting of these two families. some say commitment phobia but i would rather like to put it as a chance for my Dawa to enjoy his bachelor's life and a chance for him to explore his independence for a little longer. 

My twin sister Sonam Lucky and Nima were more than happy to tie knots. I am happy for them as they were sure of what they wanted. 

 left to right - me, (Dawa's family) brother Jigme, Aunty Karma and Jojo and  my family (Dad and Mom). Nima and Sonam Lucky on the floor.

Jojo wanted the four of us to get married the same day. He said "Its unique and it is my dream to see the four of u marry on the same day." All i could do was smile and i stole a glance at Dawa to see his reaction. He seemed more than happy. i hope he is really happy.

Wedding bells are yet to be heard. but more than that, what is important is that IT WAS A FRUITFUL EVENING :) and a positive nod from both the families...CHEERS!!!!

Happy Birthday Mommy!

mommy (Dechen Wangmo), I LOVE U and Happy Birthday

I am sorry Mommy for not being a very good daughter to you. I have not wished you on your birthday or mother's day for the past 25years. I was ignorant and I thought you didn’t really care much whether we wished you or not.

I have not known your birthday for all these years and I apologies for my mistake.

It took me 26 years to realize that no matter how old you are, a small birthday wish can make so much of a difference in that person’s life.

I have never wished my mother on the Mother’s day. “It didn’t matter,” I told myself whenever my friends ask me if I have wished my mother. But now I have realized that “IT MATTERS.”

I wished my mom on the Mother’s Day and even gave her a small gift. The smile and the happiness I saw on her face were worth walking the Thimphu Street for hours to get the perfect gift for her.


Today is my Mother’s birthday. MANY MANY HAPPY RETURNS OF THE DAY MOMMY. You are the BEST. I can never imagine my life without you. Thank you for Everything :)